Kindle Sobonfu E. Somé Ç The Spirit of Intimacy Ancient African Teachings in the Ç

Key Features And Benefits First book by one of the most prominent teachers of indigenous spirituality in the West Draws upon the ancient teachings of native Africa to give insights into the nature of intimate relationships Explains the necessary foundation for healthy lasting relationships spirit community and ritual Explores indigenous ideas of love sex marriage childbirth relationship renewal and conflict and applies their teachings to the modem world Powerful insights into the nature of attraction divorce and loss Presents specific rituals and group and private ceremonies to help nourish relationships Suggestions for improving intimate life are based on seminars and workshops given by the author to thousands of students in the US and Western Europe Explores such topics as how to find a partner how to maintain healthy intimate relationships and the meaning of conflict Applies profound teachings of an indigenous people to a complex contemporary world Offers specific rituals for intimate partners and the community which supports them Discusses the nature and role of gay and lesbian sexuality


10 thoughts on “The Spirit of Intimacy Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships

  1. says:

    Are your relationships guided by ego and control or are they guided by spirit? And what would that look like a relationship guided by spirit? Allow Sobonfu to offer the wisdom from pre colonial Bhurkino Faso — from the Dagara tribewhere remnants of whole relationships rooted in community and mutual trust and understanding still exist This book is a beautiful and easy to read collection of thoughts debunking the Western notions of ‘romance’ and ‘privacy’


  2. says:

    I'm not usually a big fan of how to books on the subjects of love and relationships but I make exception with this book because it really isn't one Sobonfu she will seem like a dear friend before you've read much has such a warm gentle caring voice the wisdom she shares is of the best and most beautiful sort She helps her readers become AWARE of themselves and their relationships the book focuses primarily on lovepartner relationships but some elements could certainly be used in any sort of caring relationship It's not a men are like that or women are like this sort of book Rather it speaks to some of the deepest truths of our souls and how a partner can help us as we move along in our journey in life I really cannot put into words what a beautiful and beneficial book this is but I heartily recommend it to anyone interested in being awake in relationships or to those interested in learning some traditional wisdom from the Dagara tribe in Africa PS Her other books on falling out of Grace and on children are both marvelous as well I just haven't time to write full reviews right now


  3. says:

    Very enlightening This little book answered a lot of uestions I had about commitment and about marriage in particular I also noticed a correlation between the Dagara belief system and that of Christianity we are all parts of the same body or even New Age thought marriage between two people is a gift to the community world Marianne Williamson comes to mind at the end of the day there's only one truth love is a verb not a feelingIntimacy is Sacred Community is a Blessing for the couple and vice versa I now better understand my elders`views on relationshipsRitual is the Basis for strength and for renewal in the relationshipThe book also explains why West Africans rarely display intimacy in public or why the divorce rate is so low I still struggle with the Dagara`s views on polygamy and arranged marriageprobably always will and the rituals she writes about will not be an easy feat but nonetheless this was a powerful readFavorite uotes There isn`t divorce in the village because of the way people see things People there cannot conceive of intimacy or marriage outside of their spirituality without the guidance of spirit P 122The Dagara people do not have a specific word for sex We express the concept of sex in terms of journeying or traveling with someone You don`t want to have sex with that person you want to go somewhere P 87Most of the relationships that I observe in this culture meaning the West begin somewhere at the top of the hill The top of the hill has this nice feeling of being in love Now since a relationship must grow and must be constantly in motion and it`s already at the top where is it going to go? P 51


  4. says:

    Sobonfu Some a member of the West African Dagara tribe brings to the Western World wisdom uprooted from the ancient elders of her people This small concise little gem of a book is filled with practical advice and common sense practices to garner and enhance intimacy in all couple relationships Although most of her teachings and suggestions are not practical for Westerners because of cultural differences and the negative influences Western society has on our lives today there are still plenty of meaningful and thought provoking passages here that would easily apply to all cultures everywhere People are people The ways of love human sexuality and intimate relationships between men and women are the same worldwide no matter which spot on the globe you look Sobonfu’s simple approach to intimacy takes the reader from their initial contact with their partner on through the many stages of growth the couple will experience The ancient ways of intimacy in West Africa are community built; all village members participate in the nurturing care and growth of a couple’s relationship straight on through to the death of one or both partners The most interesting aspects of their philosophy on intimacy revolves around the “spirit” and the rituals that can be created to help two people learn and understand each other’s personalities wants dreams conflicts and pain and the importance of creating these rituals early on so that they will be carried forth throughout the duration of the relationship In creating scared spaces for sex in the process of inviting in the spirit of nature and the spirit of love into their hearts and homes in both parties total immersion into the communion and joining of hearts minds souls and the sacredness of their joined bodies the African way of intimacy is a welcome breath of fresh air to read about The author teaches couples to explore learn to be patient and to communicate openly about all aspects of joy and sorrows doubts and fears expectations and disappointments Open communication the spirit of making effort and never giving up or into negative thoughts or actions toward the other partner is key to a healthy relationship that will beam with ultimate intimacy if some of these simple loving rituals and beliefs are put in practice every day Some other topics covered are controlling behavior patterns death and dying the illusion and dangers of romance homosexuality divorce and the importance of family and friends who can support the relationship when nurturing and healing are neededThis is marvelous uick little read was well worth the time to peruse and worth letting the wisdom offered up sink in and make this reader ponder on her own experiences


  5. says:

    This is a deceptively simple book about living in relationship with one's self community world and the spirit realm Sobonfu Some portrays the indigenous rituals of the West African culture that she comes from Her writing is beautiful and characterizes a people with little armor and masks This book was a uick read simple straight forward and heartfelt I experienced an opening that there is a precious jewel embedded in that simplicity But it is difficult to translate indigenous wholeness in today's differentiated world This is the same feeling I got from reading Jean Liedloff's The Continuum Concept There is something so primal in our makeup that is not being met todayI will read her other two books Maybe she gives possibilities of tranlating the indigenous connectedness into the western culture And if not I have a task ahead of me


  6. says:

    I am resistant to this little book I bought and started it two years ago and finished within two weeks what should have been read in a day I wasn’t taking time to digest I was resisting It’s a small book with descriptions of and prescriptions for intimacy I’m totally into intimacy I write and teach about it all the time which is why my mentor recommended it For some reason I’m taking it personally I keep hearing myself think “Well isn’t there anything good about relationships in the West?” Then I think about it and there’s nothing that can’t be improved upon I don’t disagree with her I just find what she’s describing imposssible I have no idea how to create the community that she says is essential to intimacy Turning the pages made me feel and defeated hence impossible as my descriptor The truth is I’m not as resistant as I am disappointedfrustrated that I don’t know how to make the world in which her spirit of intimacy thrives Beyond my ego I can appreciate the ideas of spirit and ritual and elders I can certainly learn to activate spirit in my daily life and I appreciate that she says you don’t even have to know what to ask for in order to activate the spirit As far as rituals I don’t know where to begin to create them abstracted from community and a culture that celebrated ritual I guess I’ll have to let spirit do that too I really appreciate her approach to conflict and the need to have ritual to resolve it She is very clear about what Western and urban African societies don’t do but she isn’t clear about how to reestablish the connection Can it be done alone? Will one person’s desire for spirit reconnect the entire tribe? I guess I’m about to find out what really and truly is possible with spirit


  7. says:

    Some is amazing The distinctions she makes between the West's ways of intimate relationships and indigenous ways is a great eye opener The wisdom she offers is good for any reader looking for ways to grow in their intimate relationships And if you don't agree with it a the very least it's a different perspective on relationships altogether


  8. says:

    The Spirit of Intimacy provides a very refreshing prospective of relationships and intimacy in the traditional African setting There is much to think about in this book and it did have me looking at the relationships I maintain with those around me Indeed there may be valuable relationship lessons to be found in its pages even for us living in Western Society Recommended reading


  9. says:

    Somé's clear and simple writing explains the unexplainable in this short but poignant literary jewel A must read for every person but especially if you are African married and a parent


  10. says:

    I am a simple man Give me anything that Sobobfu writes about the village and I give it 5 stars